(Or how to cope with talking to your neighbors)
Sometimes when you’re a grown up you have to talk to your neighbors. It’s awful because they’re people, and even though you put up a privacy fence a little while ago, before the fence was up, they probably saw you running around your yard with matted hair and at least one boob hanging out.
Anyway, I had to talk to one of my neighbors today, and about 20 minutes after I was back in the safety of my own home, I realized that I smelled terrible. I make my own deodorant, but sometimes the natural diy stuff just doesn’t help with the horrible anxiety sweat that you get from having to talk to a human person.
Fortunately, I learned that hand sanitizer makes wonderful deodorant spray that actually works. I’ve tried to make my own version, but it always just smells like rubbing alcohol. I’m not sure what the commercial armpit spray people do differently, but I don’t care enough to bother looking.
Why is a banana bread recipe following this daring tale of bravery and armpit spray, you ask? Well, not everything is about you, and sometimes I want to make some goddamn banana bread.
Whole Wheat Banana Bread
Adapted from Cookie and Kate
1/3 cup melted coconut oil or olive oil
½ cup honey
2 fairly large ripe bananas
1 tbsp. molasses
½ c unsweetened almond milk or water
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp vanilla
1 ½ tsp cinnamon
½ tsp salt
1 ¾ c brown spelt flower or whole wheat flower
Preheat oven to 325° and grease a 9×5 loaf pan
Whisk oil, honey, eggs, bananas, vanilla, molasses, and almond milk in a large bowl.
In a medium bowl, whisk flour, salt, cinnamon, and baking soda.
Pour the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients and mix to combine
Pour the batter into the prepared loaf pan and bake for about 55-65 minutes. Watch closely the last 10 minutes or so. It’s done when a toothpick or skewer comes out clean.
I’ve heard it’s best to wait until the loaf cools before you start cutting and eating slices, but I’ve literally never tried.
Do you best to eat at least one slice nude in your backyard.