How to create more positive self-talk

Listen, everyone. There’s a lot of negativity in the world, and if anything is going to change, we need to start with ourselves. I’ve included some examples of self talk that starts off not-so-positive, and how to flip it around to be more self-loving (but not in that way, stop being so gross).

Peaceful pictures of apple blossoms help inspire positivity

Example One:

“You really need to put on some make up so you don’t look like such an ugly hooker”

First of all, it’s best to use the non-pejorative term ‘sex worker.’ Next, you want to turn the statement into a positive. Try this instead:

“Maybe if you put on some make up you won’t look like such an ugly sex worker”

Didn’t that feel better?

This is a real picture from the back room of the vegan topless bar in Texas where Mary Ellen and I met

Example Two:

“You just ate two entire pints of ice cream, no wonder you’re such a fat ugly cow”

Cows aren’t fat, that’s just how Goddess made them. Let’s try taking a more cow-friendly, positive spin on this self-talk:

“Good job eating those two pints of ice cream, you’re such a fat ugly person. Cows are beautiful creatures.”

I don’t know about you, but I feel better when I’m noticing the beauty and majesty of cows, instead of focusing on the negative.

See, cows are beautiful

Example Three:

“I can’t believe you overdrew your bank account, you goddamn dumb bitch”

That sounded a little harsh, didn’t it? I bet it felt harsh when you said it to yourself. So, maybe don’t overdraw your bank account next time, you goddamn dumb bitch.

If you didn’t overdraw your bank account and get evicted from your apartment, you wouldn’t have moved to the forest to live with the squirrels





One thought on “How to create more positive self-talk

  1. Ok I’m resentful that you would use a private picture of me and what’s-his-face. What we had that night was beautiful, or maybe disgusting, I don’t really remember – but I loved him. Look at his enthusiasm.

    Also, damn I’m gross for just leaving a toothbrush on the night stand.

    -Mary Ellen

    Liked by 1 person

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