More Egg Rice 

I’m sorry that I’ve been MIA for a long while. I was sick, died, ressurected, and then I’ve been busy coming up with the perfect playlist for working out. I love making playlists for everything because they are the modern form of mix tapes, which I used to actually make for people all the time, because I was adorable/a creepy nerd. Have a crush? Let them know with a heartfelt compilation of emotional Hanson songs. I continued this tradition even with the advent of CDs, and even went so far as to make a “I’m sorry we broke up, I want to be friends, but I also still want to have sex with you/I will stalk you every day until you love me” mix. When CDs died, I ran to iTunes, and now I’m resting comfortably with Spotify. 
Since I’ve been so busy making playlists, I hardly have time to cook, clean, or have foresight in general. Actually, I don’t think I even made dinner for my husband last night. I think I had a bowl of cereal, I wonder what he had? 

I eat sweet potatoes sometimes as meals. This was painstakingly made by wrapping in foil and throwing it into the oven, where I forgot about it because I didn’t set a timer. Luckily, it turned out well for me.

I go back and forth on the egg thing. I love eggs most of the time, but then I need like, several months of a break. I make a lot of egg scrambles with whatever ingredients I have on hand. This recipe, however, was inspired by a dish at a local ramen spot near my house. A true gem of a place. We went with friends, and it took a couple of hours to get all our food, which was fine since they brought out my sake and I didn’t care about the rest. After like 90 minutes of still missing half our order, I walked up to one of the dudes walking around, and politely informed him that we were still missing our dishes, and like, wondered if they were going to get them for us. He didn’t speak English, and ran away. He was scared of me the rest of the night. 
Anyway, one of our friends and Annie both ordered vegetable fried rice, and they brought out rice with egg in it, and no vegetables. I was jealous. 
This recipe is not fried rice. I’m too lazy for that.  
Egg Scramble with Rice (adapted from a local ramen joint with communication issues)

Ingredients: 

  • 2 eggs
  • 1 cup frozen vegetables of your choice 
  • Cheese (optional) 
  • 1/2 TBSP butter or oil
  • 1/2 cup cooked rice of your choice
  • Soy sauce 

Directions:

Heat butter or oil in a pan at medium heat and add vegetables. Cook until heated through and add cheese (if you want) until it melts. 

Today I used peppers and corn that was genetically modified to taste like carrots. It counts as an extra vegetable.

Scramble the eggs in a bowl and pour into pan. 

Serafina would just eat it at this stage because she doesn’t even have time to cook her eggs.

Prepare a bowl of rice and drizzle soy sauce in it and mix it in. Top it with the scramble and eat it while silently wishing you were eating cookies for lunch instead. 

Not cookies, but I guess it works.

That’s all for this week. If you would like your own personalized mixtape from Mary Ellen, send an inquiry through the Contact Page and a representative will be with you within 1-12 days. 
Scrambles are just free spirited omelettes. 
Mary Ellen 

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Tomago Kake Gohan

AKA the ridiculous shit you eat when you never go to the grocery store

Oh, hi there, friends. It’s been a minute what with Mary Ellen’s baby getting her sick again (babies are so gross) and my summer Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman classes (we learned how to make hats!)

Dr. Quinn with hat
Regular doctors wear lab coats, but in my program, hats are actually preferred.

I’m just glad we’re all here now, so I can finally admit that I eat raw eggs. I had my chickens’ poop checked out by a vet, and for several months I went around telling people that there was no salmonella because my chickens are basically perfect. Then my boyfriend pointed out that the vet might not have checked for salmonella. What a dick. Both of them. I would have been perfectly fine living in my world without salmonella.

Anyway, I still eat raw eggs anytime I bake anything. And also, anytime I’m hungry.

IMG_0797edit
Imagine my shock when my boyfriend, who definitely doesn’t have weird food preferences, refused to eat this!

I read about this somewhere. I thought it was the New Yorker, but I couldn’t find it. It’s not like it’s a hard “recipe” though…

Ingredients

About a cup of hot rice (I used white rice in the pictures, but I often use brown rice)

1 egg

Seasonings (all optional): Siracha, toasted sesame oil, and/or coconut aminos (or soy sauce)

Instructions

Place rice in bowl

Crack egg directly into bowl

Whisk the shit out of it with chop sticks until it gets foamy

Add seasonings if desired

IMG_0802edit
It starts to hold together and gets kind of custard-y, which is what you want

Serafina