Intuitive eating

Friends, I am going to start with an apology. I know I said that I would be eating exclusively soups until Mary Ellen gets rescued from her “vacation,” but I heard about intuitive eating in passing, and I just couldn’t force my body to stick to a strict diet of noodles and butternut squash any longer.

Has anyone else heard about intuitive eating? I’m going to be honest, I heard the phrase one time. And, as with all potentially complex subjects, I’m going to brazenly assume that I know what it means. Yesterday, I got off of a long hard day of work and by body intuitively knew that I needed to wander around the grocery store until I found some vegan gummy bears, and then I needed to intuitively eat them in my car while swerving slightly and shaking my fist at other cars (I couldn’t scream at them because I had a mouth-full of gummy bears).

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I do have green things in my fridge. But my body knew that I needed gummy bears.

Today, I got off of another long day at work, and while my brain thought I should make some quinoa lentil chili, my body knew better. I reached for a jar of chocolate almond butter that I bought yesterday before I found the gummy bears, and then I ate half of the jar with a spoon while drinking a beer.

Chocolate almond butter
The beer is in a fancy stout glass, because I intuitively wanted to bump up the classiness

You guys know how passionate I am about health food, and this intuitive eating idea is no different. I’m just so grateful that there is finally a phrase for the healthful way I approach shoving completely reasonable amounts of sugar in my mouth.

Serafina

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Butternut Squash, Carrot, Apple Soup

I think I’m only going to make soup until Mary Ellen gets un-kidnapped. It’ll be like a hunger strike, but I’ll still get to eat soup, which sounds nice. I thought about starting a fundraiser for her ransom money, but I was too hungry from my hunger strike idea, so this will have to do.

I cleared out the rest of my garden this week and found  several butternut squash as well as a few carrots I had missed earlier in the season. I started shooting photos while making this soup, but my camera died, and I couldn’t find the charger. You’re all in luck, though, because in addition to going to school to be Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, I have also completed extensive coursework in courtroom illustration. So, I was able to quickly and accurately draw the important steps of this recipe. I imagine you won’t even notice the difference between my exceptional photography and illustrations.

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I had to cut off a section because a squirrel took a bite of this squash. Fucking squirrels.

This soup was loosely inspired by this recipe

Soup in bowl

Ingredients

Butternut squash

Two carrots

One apple

Small shallot or leek

Garlic (about one clove or some garlic powder)

Fresh thyme (about 2 tsp)

Fresh sage (about 2 tsp)

About 3-4 cups vegetable broth

Olive oil

Coconut milk

Salt and pepper to taste

soup in pot
In practice, you’ll want to chop the carrots and apple prior to placing them in the pot, I just left them whole for the sake of the composition

Instructions:

Cut butternut squash in half and scoop out seeds. Brush with olive oil and then lightly salt and pepper it. Roast face down on a baking sheet at 400° until soft (about 45 minutes)

Once done, let cool for a few minutes until you can handle it. Scoop out all of the squash into a bowl.

Cut apple and carrots into bite sized pieces

In a large pot, saute garlic and leeks (or shallot) until soft and fragrent. Add carrot, apple, cooked squash, thyme, sage, and vegetable broth. Simmer until apples and carrots are soft )about 15 minutes or so. Add coconut milk. Blend with an immersion blender.

Garnish with salt and pepper, per illustration

 

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Dig in!

Serafina

Minestrone

Oh, hey guys! Sorry, was that a microaggression? I want to clarify that I wasn’t assuming anyone’s gender there. I honestly couldn’t care less how many penises or butt holes you have.

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I felt guilty sorting out the green tomatoes, but don’t worry, I held each of them to my face and let them know that I’d eat them once they changed the essence of their being

Anyway, I don’t know if y’all noticed, but it is fall (oh, I just now got why southerners say y’all, it’s to avoid the microaggression!) I’m so, so sorry this blog doesn’t have any pumpkin recipes yet. It’s not going to change today. What will change is the number of soup recipes we have to offer you. Thanks to my productive garden this year, and the fact that there isn’t an Olive garden within 25 miles of me, I decided to make my own minestrone.

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I’m pretty sure that my distance to the nearest Olive Garden qualifies my area as a food desert

I adapted this recipe from many, many minestrone recipes. I also only used what I had on hand since I really didn’t feel like going to a grocery store. I also think this is one of the few places that whole wheat noodles would work really well.

Ingredients

Olive Oil

Onion powder (or about ½ an onion if you don’t hate onions)

Garlic powder (or a few cloves of garlic)

1 zucchini, chopped into bite sized pieces

Several cups of fresh tomatoes, diced (or a can of diced tomatoes)

About 6 cups of vegetable broth

A handful of fresh basil or 1-2 tsp dried

1-2 tsp dried herbs de provence spice blend

1 tsp oregano

1 can of chickpeas

About 8 oz pasta

Parmesan cheese

Salt and pepper to taste

Optional veggies that often go in minestrone, but that I did not have on hand: carrots, spinach, potatoes)

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The large pile of mint did not go into the minestrone. That went into a julep because I was in a Southern mood after learning to say y’all

Instructions

Heat oil in a large pan, and sauté garlic powder and onion powder briefly until fragrant. Add carrots, zucchini, tomatoes, chickpeas, and other dried spices. Cook for a few minutes. Then add broth and bring to a simmer. Add pasta and continue to simmer. A few minutes before the pasta is done, add in your fresh basil and other greens if using.

Serve with obscene amounts of parmesan.

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This was a far more attractive amount of parmesan, than I actually used.

Serafina

Dragon Noodles

Friends, I have good news and bad news. I’ll just lead with the good stuff. I finally got in touch with Mary Ellen after her impromptu trip to the Caribbean. She doing so great. Just so great. Incidentally, she did get a little bit kidnapped. I don’t have the details, but her extraordinarily wealthy husband is refusing to pay the ransom because he found out she isn’t a natural blonde.

So much drama, am I right?

Anyway, I was craving some healthy Asian food after hearing about Mary Ellen’s plight (plus, when I tried to get in touch with her husband to see if he was DTF with her out of the picture, I realized he had blocked my number), so I decided to go with one of my stand-bys, Dragon Noodles. It has only 4 tbsp of butter, which is only half a stick, so this easily falls into the “healthy weeknight dinner” category. If only I had remembered to buy, cook, and then eat some vegetables…

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My housekeepers came over today and I still couldn’t clear off the fucking counter before taking pictures

Ingredients

4 tbsp butter

8 oz package of soba noodles

3 eggs

1/4 tsp garlic powder

Coconut aminos

Hot sauce (I used Cholula, though Sriracha is also good if you’re into that sort of thing)

Red pepper flakes

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I didn’t scramble the eggs according to Gordon Ramsay’s method. But they aren’t raw, so there’s that!

Instructions

Cook soba noodles in water per package directions

Melt about 1 tbsp of butter in a pan, and then scramble your eggs

Once eggs are cooked, set aside

Melt the remaining butter with garlic powder

Once pasta has been drained, place it back in the pot and pour butter mixture over it. Add a good amount of coconut aminos and some hot sauce, mix to coat. Then add eggs and serve.

This is a messy dish. It would maybe serve more than one person if after serving yourself a bowl, you didn’t immediately move the rest of the food within reach of your chopsticks.

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Giant pot of delicious spiciness=one serving. As an aside, if anyone has any antacids they want to send my way, feel free

Spice up your life

Serafina