Serafina’s guide to healthy snacking

Sometimes life gets chaotic and there isn’t time for homemade cookies, cookie dough, or the many other healthful snack ideas  that we have on this site. Sometimes you realize that your masters thesis is due in like two weeks, other times something more relevant to you might happen. Either way, I’m here to guide you through the wonderful snacks that will hopefully save you so your dreams aren’t ruined and you don’t have to cry in the shower until there’s no more hot water every night for the rest of your life.

A wonderful place to start is with healthy beverages to optimize your energy. I rely on coffee most of the time, but in extreme cases, it’s fine to put whatever the fuck is in these drinks in your body. Maybe they’ll help. At least that’s what I’m counting on.

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I bought the Focus Aid one thinking it was just a re-branded over-the-counter Adderall. I was wrong.

After your heart is racing and your stomach is queasy from energy drinks, it’s a good idea to get some wholesome food in your body. Shit, maybe we should have started with food, but you know what, it’s too late now. These foods don’t go together, but they are the only things in my refrigerator right now aside from energy drinks and almond milk.

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Oh carrots, I look forward to throwing you in the compost in a month when I am trying to figure out what smells bad in the fridge.

Healthy snacks can make a monumental difference in your energy levels and mood throughout the day. For example, before I ate this cookie, I seriously considered pouring tea all over my laptop because the lecture I was watching was mildly irritating. Since finishing the cookie and remembering I have an old broken laptop I keep around for displacing my violent inclinations toward technology, I’m feeling much more regulated.

ABC cookie

Another healthful snack that will hopefully stave off your aggressive and destructive tendencies for a few blissful moments is the fruit snack. Fruit snacks are perfection. It’s like someone noticed that it was ridiculous that fruit had all that fiber and shit in it, and was like, “Don’t worry guys, I’ve got this.” I accidentally bought fruit snacks that have vitamin C in them. It’s ok, they still tasted fine.

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I ate these vegan fruit snacks on the patio while telling my chickens they weren’t allowed to have any. It’s not that fruit snacks are unhealthy for chickens, I’m just selfish.

Just remember, your achievements are only limited by the amount of sugar you can eat in a sitting.

XOXO,

Serafina

 

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