The Food Blog is a Lie

This week, I’m going to take a seriously investigative look at how food blogs are big liars and contribute to mass anxiety of the Mormon housewives who don’t have their own blogs.

And it’s NOT because I royally messed up my recipe for today’s post…

Okay, so I actually messed up the recipe for today’s post. It had some great potential, but I flew too close to the sun. It also left the house smelling amazing, which was just a painful reminder of my inadequacies. My husband came home and was excited to eat whatever smelled so amazing, and when I told him it didn’t exist he called me a SOB and cried openly on a dog. Things are awkward at the house now.

But just because I messed up my recipe doesn’t mean blogs don’t lie 100% of the time. This somehow absolves me.

So what went wrong?

The current temptress of my life.

I got this book a couple months ago and it’s really been life changing. The recipes are actually amazing, and yes, I did pay someone to sponsor this opinion.

I actually did make the recipe on the front cover (buffalo cauliflower sandwiches), and followed it exactly, and it was a huge hit.

But.

I thought to myself, I could do this even better by frying it! Sounds innocent enough. I had some personal issues with the batter from the original recipe in the fact that, some batter got in the cauliflower steak crevices and was a little underdone. I thought frying would solve this problem.

Also… I might have added ingredients that didn’t go well…

Anyway, frying made a mess, everything fell apart, and I made a huge mess in the kitchen that took an hour to clean.

This was the only non gross things from the batch, and I ate them and they were still amazing.

Will I try to fry these again? You bet your ass I will. I am looking to get that southern, crispy, fried chicken look. I will be back, bitches.

Gonna get a deep fryer now,

Mary Ellen

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