The Creative Process (BTS Eggplant Magic)

Before I get into my totally non-bullshit post today, I would like to dispute Serafina’s lies from her last post.  I’m an expert at being self-righteous, so listen to me.  I didn’t read whatever book she was talking about, and I never will because I don’t even read this blog, but I can say with total confidence that you don’t need to grow your own shit to feel better than everyone.

 

It’s called Farmer’s Markets + Instagram.

 

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Thank god for stock photos so I don’t have to leave my house.

 

I’ve sung Instagram’s praises before, but really, I can even make myself jealous on that platform with my own past posts.  Sometimes, I even think my life is amazing.

 

Just take some pictures at the market and brag on IG that at least YOU support local businesses.

 

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You can later then put spices in a spoon messily and pretend you’re going to bake, like I do. THE BEST PART OF BAKING IS THE MESS RIGHT?

 

Don’t have a Farmer’s Market?  Snap a pic at your local grocery store/gas station.  It’s all about angles, bitch.

 

This might be a good time to start my planned post.  It was totally planned! It’s not because I take a lot of food pictures but don’t actually write down recipes! *laughs nervously*

 

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My research into how to repurpose my gaming food into healthy family meals.

 

I’ve been thinking a lot about food blogger pictures, and how they basically all look the same.  Brightly lit, sharp focus, appetizing colors, etc.  But you know, Serafina and I are ACTUAL artists and believe art should be organic, like what your food should be (eyes judgingly).  We let our food speak to us.

 

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For instance, these muffins said, “lay us here among the mismatched placemats and make sure you get the flowers in the shot.”

 

Sometimes, at least for me, my food is being an asshole and won’t talk.

 

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I’ve taken a lot of photography classes in my life and I don’t fucking know how to make dal look even remotely appetizing in a picture.

 

I recently discovered Foodie, an app that makes my (totally not shitty looking food) talk.

 

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Also, overnight oats.  Look gross, taste only a little gross.

 

Maybe if I spent time staging the food, bringing out my lighting kit, and using my real camera to take pictures, I would have better results.  But since that’s never going to happen, I modify my pictures with filters.

 

OMG I HAVE GMO PICTURES.

 

-Mary Ellen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Butternut Squash, Carrot, Apple Soup

I think I’m only going to make soup until Mary Ellen gets un-kidnapped. It’ll be like a hunger strike, but I’ll still get to eat soup, which sounds nice. I thought about starting a fundraiser for her ransom money, but I was too hungry from my hunger strike idea, so this will have to do.

I cleared out the rest of my garden this week and found  several butternut squash as well as a few carrots I had missed earlier in the season. I started shooting photos while making this soup, but my camera died, and I couldn’t find the charger. You’re all in luck, though, because in addition to going to school to be Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, I have also completed extensive coursework in courtroom illustration. So, I was able to quickly and accurately draw the important steps of this recipe. I imagine you won’t even notice the difference between my exceptional photography and illustrations.

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I had to cut off a section because a squirrel took a bite of this squash. Fucking squirrels.

This soup was loosely inspired by this recipe

Soup in bowl

Ingredients

Butternut squash

Two carrots

One apple

Small shallot or leek

Garlic (about one clove or some garlic powder)

Fresh thyme (about 2 tsp)

Fresh sage (about 2 tsp)

About 3-4 cups vegetable broth

Olive oil

Coconut milk

Salt and pepper to taste

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In practice, you’ll want to chop the carrots and apple prior to placing them in the pot, I just left them whole for the sake of the composition

Instructions:

Cut butternut squash in half and scoop out seeds. Brush with olive oil and then lightly salt and pepper it. Roast face down on a baking sheet at 400° until soft (about 45 minutes)

Once done, let cool for a few minutes until you can handle it. Scoop out all of the squash into a bowl.

Cut apple and carrots into bite sized pieces

In a large pot, saute garlic and leeks (or shallot) until soft and fragrent. Add carrot, apple, cooked squash, thyme, sage, and vegetable broth. Simmer until apples and carrots are soft )about 15 minutes or so. Add coconut milk. Blend with an immersion blender.

Garnish with salt and pepper, per illustration

 

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Dig in!

Serafina