Vegan Vanilla Cupcakes

Friends! I was going to spend an unreasonable amount of time ranting and also show off my new hobby of making naturally leavened bread, but instead I got a puppy. You see, I’m always competing with Mary Ellen, and when she decided to replace her husband with a new model, I decided to get rid of my boyfriend and get a dog. Wait, the boyfriend might still be here…

This puppy wants to eat sourdough. But she can’t. And you can’t either because I’m not giving you the recipe today and you probably won’t be able to google it on your own.

Yep, just checked and his xbox is still in the living room. Maybe I didn’t get rid of him and he just went to work. You know, it really doesn’t matter. He can be here or not. The point is that I got a dog. And found a new recipe for vegan cake because immediately before getting my dog I was house-sitting, out of eggs, and in dire need of cake. So this is the vanilla version of my vegan chocolate cake. If you go with cupcakes, and not, like, an actual cake, don’t try to shove all the batter into 12 cupcakes. They’ll all overflow and you’ll hate yourself. Go with 14 and put some water in the empty cupcake spots. It’s a pain in the ass but it’s worth it.

I’m also a fancy person who decided to put raspberry filling in my cake. I looked up how Martha Stewart did it and used her method. You don’t have to be as fancy as Martha Stewart and me. But I will judge you if you choose to omit the filling.

I didn’t make my own jam. because unlike Mary Ellen, who has a toddler, a husband, and two dogs, I have a puppy and between 0 and 1 boyfriends so I have no time for that shit.

Vegan vanilla cupcakes

Cupcakes:

  • 1 3/4 cups flour
  • 1 teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/2 teaspoon salt
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1/3 cup oil
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla
  • 1 teaspoon vinegar
  • 1 cup water

Buttercream:

  • Butter (vegan if you’re keeping things vegan)
  • Powdered sugar
  • Small amount of vanilla
  • A few splashes almond milk

Filling

  • Raspberry jam

Makes 14 cupcakes or one 9-inch round/8-inch square cake.

Instructions:

  1. Whisk all dry ingredients together
  2. Make 3 wells in the dry ingredients.  Pour oil into one, vinegar into one, and vanilla into one.  Pour 1 cup cold water over everything and stir until combined. 
  3. Bake at 350 for 20-30 min.
  4. Cool
  5. Cut a hole in the top of the cupcake and pull out a small chunk. Save the chunk put in about a teaspoon of raspberry jam then replace the chunk of cupcake and frost. Did I just diligently recipe test the cake for you, give you perfect detailed instructions, and then not even bother giving you rough guidelines for the buttercream frosting? Yes, yes I did.
I didn’t actually fill all of them because I got bored of cutting out small circles

Can’t stop to think of a witty sign off, my puppy is eating a couch

Serafina

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Have a Great ValenTIME with These Valentime’s Day Waffles

Ah, Valentime’s Day. It’s the time in which we celebrate the birth of one of the greatest lovers of all time, Saint Valen. Side note: his name is where we get the word “valor” so this just goes to show how important this day really is. (Source: Your Mom)

Anyway, Eggplanters, you know I live a very private life. I only share the intimate details of my life with my cam subscribers, so revealing this all to you is very hard for me.

Annie is gone.

I lost Annie some time ago (not really sure when because I just realized he was gone like a month ago) in the basement. I didn’t really want to go looking for him, because I was worried I’d encounter spiders. Dead or alive, spiders scare me.

So I remarried, and his name is Greg O. Gregerson.

He’s important so he’s on his phone a lot.

I know what you’re thinking and YES I totally think he’s the spitting image of sexiest man alive, Paul Giamatti.

Anyway, for our first VDay together, I made the most romantic food you can make anyone: waffles. I know you all probably need a good waffle in your life after Serafina misappropriated meat culture last week.

This recipe used a base outline from Joy the Baker’s Blueberry Sour Cream Waffles in her brunch book (Eggs Over Easy) which you can buy here. But I made them healthier, and then I made them way less healthy than the original recipe.

Ingredients:
– 1 1/2 cups white whole wheat flour
– 2 tsp baking powder
– 1/2 tsp baking soda
– 1/2 tsp salt
– 3 Tbsp granulated sugar
– 1/3 cup butter, melted, then cooled to room temp
– 2 large eggs
– 2 tsp vanilla extract
– 1 cup plain Greek yogurt
– 1/4 milk (I used almond but you can use anything
– 1 cup white chocolate morsels
– 1 cup strawberry chia seed jam (I used the recipe from Oh She Glows, but used vanilla extract powder) – make sure it’s cold or at room temp or you’ll cook the eggs
– Chocolate ganache, whipped cream, jam, whatever, for serving.

Make your own fucking jam, it’s the bomb, takes 15 mins, and it tastes way better than anything in your fridge, I promise.

Directions:

  1. Whisk all the dry ingredients together in a large bowl.
  2. Whisk the wet ingredients together in a separate bowl.
  3. Combine the forces of wet and dry, but don’t over mix or you’ll create a wormhole.
  4. Fold in the white chocolate chips, and then swirl in the cooled jam.
I made vegan ganache with dairy free chocolate chips and coconut cream and it was amazing.

5. Turn on your waffle maker and let the batter rest while you’re waiting for it to heat. Also, follow your waffle maker’s instructions on whether to spray or not to spray.

The batter should be thick and smell like a strawberry shortcake doll.

6. Drop in 1/4 cup amounts into the maker and wait for the magic to happen.

I used a plate with a flower because I thought it would be more festive.

So there you have it. Eat all the carbs this VDay. Also, check out our mukbang videos over on our Instagram page.

Only fools rush into eating waffles without whipped cream.

-Mary Ellen


Regarding Cheesecakegate

Few things invoke a strong, authentic emotional response from me, but one of those things is cheesecake.  To my absolute shock, Serafina wrote a hit piece on cheesecake to choke out the year 2018’s final breaths.  

Because of her, what I’m hoping was drunken, nonsense, we got about 40,000 angry emails from readers, most of which listed recipes about how to cook Serafina into a cheesecake.  I read them all until I got very, very hungry. Listen, at least 70% of those recipes sounded tasty, and our readers are clearly more skilled at making food than us, but the responses were a bit over the top (not unlike reducing Serafina with some seasonal berries to make a glaze). 

Dear Eggplanters, I understand your pain, because I, too, felt it.  You see, our tandem baking journey started out with cheesecake.

I’ll wait while you gather yourselves.

It’s true.  We made a cheesecake together.  A New York style cheesecake.  It was the hardest thing I had ever done in my life at that point, which just really shows how great I was at avoiding any sort of conflict.  I vividly remember calling her up on my hot pink Razr flip phone and asking her what creme fraiche was.  She didn’t know either, and since I guess this was before the internet, she had to consult a baking book index.  

But our story was just beginning.

As I was preparing myself to make this cheesecake, I was again confused by the instructions.  What was a stiff peak? I thought innocently to myself.  I called Serafina.

“Isn’t that what you call the ending to your stripping act?”

Of course it was!  But how did that relate to cheesecake?  Do I strip for the cheesecake?  Is the cheesecake into girls?

Anyway, Serafina ended up just coming over and we sexily made the cheesecake.  You can fill in the details with what you deem sexy, I don’t judge and we’re pretty easy.  But now when I think of it, she did not eat any of the cheesecake.  My whole world has been shattered with lies!

Ha ha just kidding.  That’s actually the foundation of my world!

So yeah I made the cheesecake again.

When it’s cracked like that, it means it’s artisanal.

New York Style Cheesecake (adapted from Nigella Lawson’s How to be a Domestic Goddess)

Ingredients:

(for the crust)
1. 1 cup plus 2 tablespoons graham crackers, crushed to crumbs
2. 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
3. 3/4 cup plus 3 tablespoons sugar
4. 9 inch springform pan

(for the cake)
1. 2 tablespoons of cornstarch
2. 1 1/2 lbs cream cheese
3. 6 large eggs, separated
4. 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
5. 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons heavy cream
6. 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons sour cream
7. 1/2 teaspoon salt
8. Zest of 1 lemon
9. Confectioners sugar for dusting

I’m pretty sure this is the original pan from 10 years ago. Hasn’t been used since.

Directions:

As you can see from the ingredients list, there is no creme fraiche, so I’m not sure what I was doing in the original story, besides rambling. I also forgot to take pictures of the process, so there will just be a slew of sexy cheesecake pictures.

The original directions didn’t describe how to get the cake off the pan base. It’s a delicate cake. I need instructions, Nigella! Anyway, I left it on and it’s part of the cake now.

1. Combine the graham crackers, melted butter, and 3 tablespoons of sugar and press into the base of the pan. Put in the fridge to set while you make up the rest of the cake.
2. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees.
3. In a large bowl, whisk the sugar and cornstarch together.
4. Add the cream cheese, egg yolks, and vanilla, and beat well. I recommend a stand mixer because it’s gonna get messy.
5. Slowly beat in the creams – see, it would be nice to have a stand mixer here. Wrangling a housemate also works.
6. Add salt and lemon zest.
7. You think you’re done, but remember those egg whites? Yeah, you need to whip those to stiff peaks. I did mine by hand because I wanted to know if I could. I look like this now:

Yeah, bet you didn’t see a Lady in the Water reference coming!

8. Fold the egg whites carefully into the cheese mixture.
9. Scoop it all onto the chilled base and put it in the oven for 1-1 1/2 hours. I’d recommend putting it on a baking sheet because 100% chance the butter will leak everywhere. Don’t open the oven to look at it. Leave it be, it wants privacy.
10. Turn off the oven and let it sit in there with its thoughts for another 2 hours. Don’t open the oven! It doesn’t want you to catch it doing… whatever it’s doing.
11. Take it out, and let it sit for another hour before chilling it.
12. Dust it with sugar, and smash it into your face. Unless you’re Serafina.

Look at that fluffy face.

We stripped for the cheesecake just to be safe, and it was, in fact, into girls.

-Mary Ellen

Stacked Cheesecake

Alt title: Why I’m the best girlfriend in the world

Alt alt title:How I almost failed out of grad school in the last week of the program because I was too busy making cheesecakes to care about my final papers.

First of all, don’t bother making this. It’s a pain in the ass. Sure, maybe your significant other will say something like “this is the best cake I’ve ever had,” which was really sweet. But also, fuck all that, what a goddamn pain in the ass. Second-of-ly, use lactose free cream cheese. It exists. You should use it. It’s better than risking death by flatulence.

Stacked Cheesecake, adapted from Smitten Kitchen

I was going to rewrite the recipe here, but I’m far too lazy for that, and the original will probably be more helpful for you, so instead I’ll just give you my recipe notes.

For the chocolate wafer crust:

  1. This is basically a giant cookie. Ignore all of the crazy instructions to make this in a food processor and just make it like a cookie. Mix the wet ingredients. Mix the dry ingredients. Put the two together. It’s not hard. Food processors are dumb and expensive and a pain in the ass to clean (technically, I only have a second-hand mini food processor which isn’t ever big enough to use, but all the other things I said were still true).
  2. If you don’t use a fucking food processor, the dough is soft and crumbly enough to press into the pan, which means there’s no rolling shit out. So, even if you are the kind of person to use a food processor on a regular basis, you’re better off mixing this in a bowl with your arms like humans were meant to.
I can’t tell if the cake on the left is too yellow in real life or because the lighting was weird. It’s not like I didn’t try to fix it, but I kinda suck at photoshop, so when my first attempt at color correction failed I gave up.

For the cheesecake:

  1. You actually need to bring your cream cheese to room temperature. It takes like 2 hours. It’s a pain in the ass. It’s another reason not to make this.
  2. I made regular (vanilla) flavor and chocolate flavored cheesecakes. The original recipe was for coffee and chocolate, but my boyfriend thinks coffee flavored things are gross. He’s really picky and doesn’t recognize the true value of putting extra caffeine and coffee flavor in everything.
  3. I was not keen on how the vanilla flavor turned out, but it’s also possible that I just don’t like cheesecake because the only part of the cake I actually liked was the crust.
  4. You know what, let’s get real for a sec. I didn’t like this cake. It turns out I don’t actually like cheesecake. BUT, my boyfriend liked this cake, so the recipe is probably sound. Listen, if you like cheesecake, maybe you should be the one who’s dating my boyfriend. Send us and email and I’ll verify that your other food preferences are compatible, and if so, I’ll just drop him off at your house. He comes with two cats, so I hope you like cheesecake as well as cats.

For the ganache glaze:

  1. I lied about only liking the crust. I also liked the glaze. Glazed wafer cookies would have been good. Next time I’ll just omit the gross cheesecake part.
  2. I didn’t include the corn syrup and my glaze was more of a true ganache which I imagine was better.
I took this picture on the kitchen floor because the counters were entirely covered with dirty cheesecake dishes.

General notes:

  1. Fuuuuuck this was a bitch to cut. I guess read the instructions and try harder than I did to be more successful? I don’t know. It was awful.
  2. The instructions call for freezing to cool the cheesecakes quickly. I didn’t freeze my cheesecakes because my pans don’t fit in my freezer. Maybe things would have been better (at least aesthetically) if they were frozen.
  3. We each ate like one slice and then the rest of the cheesecake went bad in the fridge. So, I’d recommend sending this with your boyfriend to work, taking it to your work, or freezing it in a timely manner. The remains of my cheesecake are currently in my compost bin (don’t worry, it’s municipal compost, so I can put dairy in there, I know you were really worried about that).
  4. I’ve considered making this with non-dairy alternatives, but I don’t know if I should. If it’s bad I won’t be able to tell if it’s because the non-dairy cream cheese sucks or if it’s just bad because cheesecake is kind of gross.

I hope I haven’t offended you cheesecake lovers out there. I really do hope you have a happy life with my boyfriend.

XOXO,

Serafina

Mini Pumpkin Pies

Oh, hey there blog friends. I’m back and functional again after my three-week caffeine bender. It turned out all of those songs I recorded sounded like a better version of Bjork, but the record companies weren’t interested for some reason. Anyway, I backed off my caffeine intake to “moderate” and am here blogging for you again. And it’s just in time for one of the great November holidays, Thanksgiving. If my recollection of history is correct, Thanksgiving was founded by desperate bloggers, fleeing the UK in search of a land where they could freely take photographs of food to post on Instagram.

In the spirit of this holiday, which probably hails back to the early days of the world wide web, I’m bringing you a wonderful recipe for a very traditional dish, the pumpkin pie. I’m presenting it in a miniature version today, as this was a test recipe for a pie that I will be bringing to an IRL Thanksgiving on whatever day that’s supposed to happen. Specifically, I tested this recipe because I made this mistake of mentioning to my kinsfolk that I was thinking of doing a dairy free pumpkin pie this year. Now, my kin have tolerated and supported my vegetarianism, and even a stint as a vegan, this final assault to a beloved dessert was too much for them. So I decided I needed to actually test the recipe to avoid any potential shunning on the most holy of blog holidays. The wonderful news is that unlike some of the other recipes I have brought you, this one turned out well. I used sweetened condensed coconut milk which did not have any notable coconut flavor. I was planning on going with a full vegan pie, but then forgot to adjust the recipe when I was baking, so this has eggs in it.

IMG_0139
This actually looks fairly gross, but that’s what you get for using sweetened condensed milk.

Filling (makes 12 mini pies or one 9 inch pie):

1 can sweetened condensed coconut milk

1 can pumpkin puree

2 eggs

1 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp ground ginger

1/2 tsp ground nutmeg

1/8 tsp ground cloves

Crust (makes two 9 inch round crusts or a dozen 3 inch mini crusts):

2 cups flour

½ cup olive oil

¼ cup cold water

1 tsp salt

IMG_0144
A good way to approximate your age: ask whether you still use a recipe clipped from the newspaper in aught seven. I thought I was in my 30s, but it turns out I’m in my 70s.

Instructions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350°.
  2. Mix flour and salt, then add in olive oil and water. Mix together with a pastry mixer or fork and bring together into a ball.
  3. Roll out to about 1/8 inch thickness. Use about 10x more flour than you think you’ll need because this dough is super sticky and falls apart easily. Actually, you should probably just roll it out between sheets of parchment, but that’s not a thing I ever remember to do.
  4. Oil your muffin pan
  5. Using a 3 inch cookie cutter, cut out 12 rounds and mush into a muffin pan.
  6. Whisk condensed coconut milk, pumpkin, eggs, and spices.
  7. Pour into the muffin tins, leaving a little room at the top. I found that each muffin cup would hold a little less than a ½ cup filling.
  8. Bake for about 40 minutes, but pay attention to it because I don’t use timers so that’s a really rough suggestion. The pie is done when it is mostly firm. I usually check by gently touching the top of one of the pies, if the filling is still wet and loose it needs more time. When it’s done it will just jiggle a little.
  9. Serve with dairy or nondairy whipped cream. I can’t tell you whether or not you should tell your family you fed them non-dairy pie. I don’t plan to tell mine until they’ve already finished the pie and I have a clear exit path, just in case.

IMG_0153
This was my ugly pie. Apparently you’re supposed to let them cool before you try to shove one in your face.

The over-stylized photo at the top of the post shows the darker side of vegetarianism. Look what I’ve done to your father, baby pumpkins.

Serafina

Baklava

I’ve been obsessed with making baklava since I had a late-night school-induced baklava binge last month. I figured, the ingredients are so simple it must not be hard to make. Most recipes brag that it only takes an hour of prep and then 45 minutes of baking, but they’re all liars. First you have to thaw dough overnight or for up to a full day. And for the prep, I watched exactly three 45 minute shows on Netflix while making this, so it took fucking forever. Also, I brought this to a work potluck, so I basically spent an eternity making a dish and only ate four or five pieces.

Overall, I don’t really recommend that anyone make baklava. Yeah, it’s expensive to buy baklava, but you probably aren’t going to do that very often. Mine was by far the best tasting baklava I’ve ever had, and I’m still probably never making this again. But, if you are under house arrest and someone is willing to get the ingredients for you, it might be worth it.

IMG_1061
How can something with eight ingredients take so fucking long to make?

Recipe adapted from http://natashaskitchen.com/2014/12/21/baklava-recipe/

Ingredients

1 package of filo dough

2 sticks of butter

1.5 pounds of nuts (I used a mix of almonds and pistachios)

1 tsp cinnamon

1 cup sugar

Juice of ½ a lemon

1 cup water

½ cup honey

IMG_1071.JPG
I should have just poured the butter on the filo and not bothered spreading it out.

Instructions

Thaw filo dough for 8-24 hours in the fridge and then take out about an hour before you’re ready to start making baklava

Make syrup first so it has a chance to cool. Boil water, honey, sugar, and lemon juice for about 4 minutes and then set aside to cool.

Melt butter and then butter the sides of a 9×13 pan.

Pulse nuts in food processor until they are coarsely ground, then stir together with cinnamon.

Set up a fairly large workspace (you actually need to clean your kitchen before you make baklava or you’ll end up yelling a lot, which will make your baklava taste angry).

Trim filo dough to about 9×13 or 9×14.

To butter the filo dough, I found that it was best to drip a lot of butter on the dough and then brush it around a little. It doesn’t have to be perfect. You don’t want to miss an important part of the show you’re watching since doing this without a distraction would be boring.

Buttering every other sheet, place 10 sheets of filo on the bottom of the pan. Then add a thin layer of nut mixture (about ¾ cup). From there, alternate 5 sheets of filo (buttering every other sheet) with ¾ cup nuts. When you are out of nuts, end with 10 sheets of filo on the top, but butter every sheet so these stick together better. Cut the baklava before baking either in squares or diagonals. Use a very sharp knife because it is easy to fuck up the filo dough. Bake for about 45 minutes, then immediately pour the syrup over the baklava. It sizzles in a very satisfying manner. Cool uncovered for several hours or overnight. Cut again before serving.

 

IMG_1075.JPG
It’s best to crush your nuts by hand if you’re looking to make this process take as long as possible. I used a food processor, but I also hand-shelled the pistachios, so I still maximized my cooking time.

I can’t tell you what to do with your life, but if you have like three hours to dedicate to making baklava, you should probably re-evaluate your priorities.

-Serafina

Vegan Chocolate Sheet Cake (with non-vegan chocolate frosting)

Guess what, everyone? I tried to find a recipe for a vegan chocolate sheet cake last week (I was low on eggs and had to bring cake to a barbecue). I could not find any vegan sheet cake recipes. What the fuck? Is this because vegans don’t have enough friends to bother with sheet cake? No offense, vegans. But maybe if you used some butter you’d have more friends. #realtalk #sorrynotsorry

IMG_0931
I am pretty new to sheet-cake-level popularity, so I don’t have large platters. I’m working on it, and I made do with the cake carrier this time

Anyhoo, I ended up making a few slight adaptations to a vegan chocolate layer cake recipe that I have used for years. It turned out marvelously, and thanks to a butter-filled frosting, everyone wanted to be my friend.

IMG_0910edit.JPG
I poured my vanilla and apple cider vinegar into bowls for you guys, instead of just taking more pictures of my vanilla jar with the rusty lid. Making friends takes effort. And butter.

This works as a layer cake with two 9in cake pans, or it could also make 24 cupcakes. I found this handy baking time chart for all you type A vegans looking to make friends with cake.

Adapted from Joy the Baker

Ingredients:

2 1/4 cups flour

2 cups sugar

3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

2 teaspoons baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

2/3 cup canola oil

2 teaspoons apple cider vinegar

2 cups cold water

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease 9 x 13 in pan and line with parchment. Line two cupcake pans with paper liners and set aside.

Mix flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda, and salt together in a large bowl. Sifting is advised because cocoa power is a pain in the ass and clumps.

Mix the water, oil, vinegar, and vanilla together in a medium bowl.

Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and mix until just combined (vegan cakes get cranky when they are over-mixed, no one wants to eat a cranky cake)

Pour into the prepared pan. Bake for about 35 minutes. It is done when the skewer comes out mostly clean.

Cool completely then transfer onto a cake platter to be frosted.

IMG_0912edit.JPG
I was not sure about the baking time, so I stabbed the cake with a bamboo skewer about 20 times. It was effective. Also, I didn’t use a timer

Chocolate Frosting, adapted from a recipe on the back of a box of baking chocolate

Ingredients

8 oz baking chocolate (I usually do ½ unsweetened and ½ bittersweet)

6 tablespoons butter

About 1/3 cup milk (I use unsweetened almond milk)

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

½ teaspoon salt

About 3 cups powdered sugar

Instructions

Melt butter and chocolate. I usually use the old put a bowl over some boiling water method. Once melted, take off heat and let cool for a minute. Add vanilla and salt.

Alternately beat in powdered sugar and milk until you get a thick, but spreadable consistency. Spread evenly on cake. This frosting hardens and becomes fudgy when it cools.

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I don’t know how there are already splashes of butter and chocolate on the cake carrier, I hadn’t even mixed in the powdered sugar at this point, and that’s the messy part

You don’t make friends with salad

Serafina

Chocolate Chip Cookies

I really wanted to do another doughnut recipe because I was inspired by Mary Ellen’s last post, but I didn’t have time. When you’re preparing for a Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman final exam, there isn’t much time for doughnuts (The exam is basically driving out to a farm and then doing practical multitasking midwifery while you pull babies out of cows, humans, goats, etc. The people and animals that live on a farm are always pregnant, so as long as you drive with your preceptor, it doesn’t matter which farm you go to).

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, I made these cookies. I froze more than half the dough in dough balls, and then ate all the cookies and all frozen dough within a few hours. It was very nice.

IMG_0756
I can’t respect people who don’t eat cookie dough because of raw eggs. They’re just like the people who don’t eat food that they’re allergic to. I’m allergic to peanuts, so I only eat them when I know I have an Epipen with me.

This isn’t one of those horrible recipes that expects you to have your butter softened or rest the dough in the fridge for 8 years. This recipe knows you, and knows that if there is softened butter in your kitchen, it’s probably been sitting unnoticed for at least a year. Year old butter doesn’t tend to yield tasty cookies, and you deserve tasty cookies.

Choc. Chip Cookies, butter.JPG
Browned butter tastes better anyway (which is what I tell myself to feel better about my inability to plan ahead)

It also doesn’t have any stupid shit about only using an egg yolk. My chickens work hard laying eggs and I’m not about to let anything go to waste (they’d find out and probably peck my eyes out)

I started a sugar-elimination diet the same morning I decided to make these cookies. I didn’t have processed sugar in my system for at least six hours, which was probably the most important aspect of this cookie success. By the time the dough was done, I had nearly collapsed from lack of sugar. These cookies literally saved my life.

Choc Chip Cookie Dough
I advise using big chocolate chips and trying not to eat all the dough before you’ve made a couple cookies

Chocolate Chip Cookies

Adapted from Smitten Kitchen https://smittenkitchen.com/2009/03/crispy-chewy-chocolate-chip-cookies/

Ingredients:

2 cups flour

½ tsp baking soda

½ tsp salt

¾ cup unsalted butter, melted, or browned

1 cup brown sugar

½ cup sugar

1 tbsp vanilla

2 eggs

About 2 cups chocolate chips

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 325°

Whisk flour, baking soda, and salt together in a medium bowl

Cream sugars and melted butter, then whisk in eggs and vanilla. Add the flour mixture and mix with a wooden spoon to combine. Stir in the chocolate chips. Don’t bother chilling your dough and gallantly drop dough balls onto the baking sheet. Bake for about 10-12 minutes, watching closely. Transfer cookies to a wire cooling rack. If you’re baking all of your cookie dough, just keep on keeping on. If you are freezing some of it, let the baking sheet cool. Then, fill the baking sheet with balls of dough and stick in the freezer for 30 minutes-1 hour. Once relatively frozen, cookie dough balls can go into freezer bags, waiting patiently for the day that they will be eaten.

 

Cookies and dough balls

May the cookie force be with you

-Serafina