Sometimes blogs die. We’ve all seen it, a blog posts regularly, then semi-regularly, then nothing. The blog basically ghosts the Internet. It wasn’t our intention to ghost you, Internet. But, and I mean this in the best possible way, there are very rare times in our lives when real life supersedes Internet life. I know, I’m sorry. I have ridiculous expectations about the IRL world, which from now on will always come second to you, Internet.
But legitimately, life gets intense sometimes. Maybe you and your S.O. of almost 10 years are in couples counseling because, among other things, you need to get on the same page about whether you’re going to let your S.O. have unprotected sex with you so you can bear his spawn. That’s an example. Totally made up.
But if it were true, it would be a pretty emotionally intense time. And it’s a weird thing to share with friends because most people fall into the camp of knowing whether or not they want kids and also not having weird hang ups about marriage. Most people also give you a very distinct, frightened look when you mention you’re in couples counseling. So you learn not to talk about it. Except with the one couple you are friends with who are also in couple’s counseling. Then it’s cool to talk about it.
And this kind of life shit also falls into the category of “too intense to talk about at work.” So work starts being a place where you feel like you’re on edge, intentionally hiding the important, intense shit in your life right now even though you’ve known your colleagues for years. And in this scenario, which is still totally an example, you work in mental health so almost everyone is a therapist. Therapists still give you the freaked-out eyes if you say you’re in couple’s counseling. They are totally fine with you being in individual therapy, but once it’s couple’s therapy they have the same look everyone else has if you say anything.
So you go dark on the blog for a while. Your blog partner has a lot going on in her life too, since she and her S.O. already created crotch-fruit, and that is apparently something that takes up a lot of your time. So you think about coming back to the blog, but it’s been months by now, so would it be weird? And would it be weird if you wanted to come back today and then ghost again for a while?
Well, fuck it. It’s my blog so I’m going to do what I want. And by do what I want I mean eat what I want. Which is the ultimate comfort/hangover food. It’s what you need when you are doing a clean-eating challenge with work friends and you assume that all carbs are “approved” until you are otherwise informed. It’s what you need because the holiday season wrapped up but you’re still drinking like you might have to see your family twice in one week.
A disclosure: as you may remember, I don’t keep food in my fridge. So… I actually went shopping for this recipe. I couldn’t find a bra so I was wearing a bikini top under a t-shirt that I pulled out of my dirty laundry pile. Really bringing it. Crushing my mid-30’s.
This recipe is basically my late New Year’s gift to the internet. Because I love you, Internet, you global computer network providing a variety of information and communication facilities. (I was trying to talk sexy there, did it work?) No? Ok! Let’s get to it!
Tater Tot Nachos:
Take some tater tots and bake as directed (I used about a ½ bag)
Rinse a can of black beans (bonus if you get black beans that are cooked in kombu which makes them less likely to cause flatulence) and sprinkle over some of the tots.
Then get some cheese and sprinkle over the tots
Keep layering beans and cheese and tots. You can also throw in green chilies or jalapeños or whatever.
Then bake until the cheese is melty and everything is hot
Serve with guacamole and salsa. Add some sour cream if you like that sort of thing. You’ll need a fork, which should be an expectation for any decent nachos.