A Deconstructed Sweet Potato Fiesta

Whoooo baby! I don’t know about you, but are you all perpetually sloshed just to get through the holidays? No? Just me?  Are you all not the bane of your in-laws’ existence? Wow.  This is awkward.  As usual.  I should learn how to start my posts better, I guess.

 

Well, at the very least, I look forward to hearing an update from Serafina on if she was able to pass off those pies as normal pies.  I was obsessively thinking about them for weeks.  They even showed up in my regular sex dreams that I have about her.  Too much detail?  Not enough?  I never can tell.

 

It’s the time of year for pumpkin or sweet potatoes or whatever.  Carbs.  It’s time for carbs.  Actually it’s always the season for carbs at my house.

 

And sweet potatoes.

 

I like to pretend I know what healthy intuitive eating means, but to be perfectly honest, I don’t have a clue and my intuitions about everything give me anxiety so I just eat sweet potatoes and beans.  So I totally changed up my old recipe that Serafina thinks looks like chili but it’s so much worse.  And by totally, I mean, I “deconstructed” it.

 

Does deconstruction mean chop up the sweet potato?  Because that’s just what I did. That counts.

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Look at this fine set up.  Look at it!  I have things.

Deconstructed Chili Fiesta (TM)

Ingredients:

  • Can of black beans
  • Sweet potatoes or yams
  • Cumin
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • Onion powder
  • Garlic powder
  • Oil
  • Salsa
  • Guac if you’re a rich asshole
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They actually look worse than this.  Remember, I use the Foodie app for filters (pay me!)

Directions:

Peel and chop up the sweet potato into bit sized pieces.  Toss them in salt and oil and roast at 425 degrees for… I dunno.  15-20 mins.  Heat up the beans.  Combine the beans and potatoes.  Season with all the seasoning stuff to your liking, and add salsa.  Eat, possibly share with another person, or whatever.

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As you can tell, this bowl didn’t even make it to the table.  I just ate standing over the counter and watched TV.

Does this meal sound like it’s actually something that should go into a meal?  No.  It doesn’t.  Stop trying to make things so complicated, Jennifer.  Just eat the potatoes.

 

I’m only 90% dead inside.

 

-Mary Ellen

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Zucchini, rice, and beans

Friends, I’m going to put aside my skin care feud with Mary Ellen for the moment (we all know who won that one, right?) and talk to you about a recipe from my childhood. You can tell this is a very modern recipe, because it comes from a Jane Brody cookbook with the subtitle “Living the High Carbohydrate Way.” That’s right, before all of this keto and paleo bullshit, there were plenty of people encouraging us to eat more carbs, and they were saints.

This is my version of Jane Brody’s Company Rice and Beans with fewer frills (I think she wants you to have like 4 fresh vegetables on hand, which seems ridiculous. I just used canned goods, dried spices, and a zucchini from the garden). Jane Brody also recommends cooking your rice at the same time as the rest of the food (I audibly gasped with disbelief at the thought of multitasking), so I’m going to go another step further and tell you to use a rice cooker. I bought a rice cooker about a year ago and this is second time I’ve used it, so that was a super meaningful purchase that made a measurable difference in my life.

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Yeah, you cook that rice, rice cooker. Then, back to the cupboard for another 6 months!

Get ready for some high carbohydrate living!

Ingredients:

1 cup rice (yield will be two cooked cups)

1 zucchini, halved and sliced

1 can of diced tomatoes

1 can of beans (I recommend garbanzo or kidney, but any bean will do)

Olive oil

About 1/2 tsp oregano

Some garlic powder

Salt and pepper to taste

Optional: cheese (Jane recommends cheddar)

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You may notice that I didn’t actually use a can of diced tomatoes because I didn’t have any. So I used tomato sauce, which was fine, but a can of diced tomatoes would be better.

Instructions:

Cook the rice. 1:2 ratio of rice to water. Unless you have a rice cooker and then read the instructions or something. I used brown rice because I wanted extra credit.

Saute the diced tomatoes, zucchini, and spices in olive oil for about 5-10 minutes. Add the beans when the zucchini is starting to soften and bring to a low simmer until the rice is done.

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If you leave the stove unattended, you may get tomato splashes all over your cookbook. And also the stove. And maybe your camera.

Serve the tomato/zucchini/bean mixture on top of rice. Top with shredded cheese if your GI tract is up for such indulgences.

BTW, my zucchini plant produces a new fully developed zucchini about every 45 minutes, so prepare yourself to watch me put zucchini in everything I cook until October.

company rice and beans 2edit

 

Carbs are life,

Serafina