Jackfruit Lentil Enchiladas

My dear blog friends,

I endured many hardships in writing this post. (I know what you’re thinking: there’s no way that’s true. She’s sitting comfortably in her house having just eaten leftovers of the dish she is posting about. What could she possibly have to complain about? Well don’t you fucking even start!)

First of all my free photo editing software crashed and I was worried I’d have to update it, but then it started and it was fine (again, I know what you’re thinking: she edits her photos? Yeah, I do. I spend like 20 seconds toiling over the free editing software that I almost kind of know how to use.)

Then, I had to find my hobo gloves because my hands were just slightly too cold and I thought I might die if I couldn’t experience 100% physical comfort in that moment.

Then, I found out that I’m in school again. Wasn’t I in school long enough? I thought so. I told them I was over 30 so they should just give me a fucking master’s degree and the first person I talked to was like “yeah, obvi” but then the second person was like “no, you have to complete the requirements and blah blah blah.” That second one was an exact quote.

And then I had to go comfort my chickens who are still super traumatized from Mary Ellen’s last post.

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Ew, there’s a cat hair on the can.

Anyway, I’ve come across a bunch of vegetarian recipes that use jackfruit. They all start off by talking about how jackfruit is fucking disgusting smelling just like durian which begs the question of how anyone ever started eating foods that make you gag when you try to cut into them. So I went the obvious route of buying canned jackfruit which doesn’t make you vomit when you open it. And then I made enchiladas which are probably more like smothered burritos, but I’m not changing the title.

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Unlike fresh jackfruit, this just smelled kinda briny like olives or something

Ingredients

1½ to 2 cups cooked rice

1 cup cooked lentils

14 oz can jackfruit, rinsed

8 oz cheddar cheese, shredded

2 cups enchilada sauce (I used homemade sauce from this recipe)

6-8 tortillas, depending on how thick you like your enchiladas

Olive oil

Taco seasoning (I used a homemade blend from this recipe)

1 or 2 cups of veggies to throw in (optional- I used frozen zuchinni, with disappointing results, but other veggies generally work well)

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I think I was supposed to cook the jackfruit longer. I’m not sure though.

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350

Cook your rice and lentils if you didn’t already do so because you were being lazy.

Chop up the jackfruit. I followed the instructions from this site to shred them, but it was way too much work and I’m just going to chop it all up and let it cook down next time. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with eating the seeds or the tough parts and the random seeds that I missed picking out tasted fine.

Cook the jackfruit with a little olive oil and taco seasoning for a few minutes, then mix it with the rice and lentils in a large bowl. Add in cheese, a little enchilada sauce (maybe ¼-½ cup) and any veggies you are using.

Put the enchilada mix in tortillas and place in a 13×9 pan with some enchilada sauce at the bottom. Once all your enchilada mix is tortillaed (it’s a word, trust me), cover in enchilada sauce and finish with cheese.

I usually cover with aluminum foil and bake for 20 minutes. Remove the foil and bake for another 10 minutes until the enchilada sauce and cheese are all bubbly.

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My boyfriend took a bite of this and said “it’s not a terrible texture.” Huge endorsement. You can all get excited now and go buy jackfruit.

Enjoy a jackfruit recipe that won’t make you gag while you’re preparing it

Serafina

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Vegetarian Lentil Shepherd’s Pie

I’ve talked to you all about how my boyfriend and I basically don’t eat any of the same foods. Because it wasn’t already hard enough to live and share a kitchen with a man-person, he also had to go and be a fucking meat eater.

Anyway, it was his birthday recently, and like any good girlfriend, I made his favorite meal. Now technically speaking, his favorite food is grilled dead cow or some shit, so I actually made his favorite vegetarian meal. The good news: it’s been so long since he’s had shepherd’s pie with meat that he thinks the vegetarian version is just as good. There isn’t any bad news. There wasn’t a reason for me to frame it like that.

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See the parts that are black, not brown? Yeah, try setting a timer. Or, like, staying in the general kitchen area instead of going to the backyard to sing your chickens lullabies.

This dish is a mash up of a bunch of lentil shepherds pie recipes, and unlike most of the shit I share on this blog, I actually cook this a lot so it doesn’t suck.

Oh, wait, I just thought of the bad news. I don’t measure things when I cook. I’ve tried to change my ways but it messes up the flow. So, everything in this recipe is an estimate. The second bad news: I didn’t actually make the gravy because my mushrooms smelled bad and I threw threw them in the compost. But I’m linking a gravy recipe that looks like it might taste good for vegetarian gravy….

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Those mushrooms looked like they were going to be totally fine, then I removed the cling wrap and almost died from the smell. I don’t know why I included them in this picture. It just prolonged my suffering.

Ingredients

1½ c veggie broth (1 ½ c water for 1 bouillon cube)

1 tbsp  dry red wine (optional)

1 tbsp tomato paste

1 tbsp flour

Veggies (2-4 cups cut into small pieces)

Options include:

-Celery

-Parsnips

-Carrots

-Sweet potato

-Acorn Squash

-Peas

2 c lentils (1/2 c dry green lentils)

3-4 potatoes

Butter

Salt and pepper

Herbs de province

Garlic powder

Olive oil

Directions

Cook potatoes and mash

Cook lentils with 2 cups water (add water as needed)

Mix the sauce by combining vegetable broth, tomato paste, wine and flour.

Sauté the veggies with oil, herbs de province and garlic powder for about 6 minutes until a little bit soft

Add the sauce and lentils to the vegetable mix and simmer for a few minutes

Pour the lentil and veggie mix into the bottom of the pan

Scoop potatoes onto the veggies and lentils in small portions and even out with a fork

Bake at 350 for about 30 minutes

Broil for 5 minutes if potatoes are not yet brown on top (I also don’t set timers which may or may not be related to the shepherd’s pie getting a teensy bit more burned than it was supposed to)

For the gravy, you can try a package of mushroom gravy which comes out rather gross. Or you can try this recipe which is what I tried to do. Or you can do what I actually did which was to make a rue out of butter and flour and veggie broth, then just add dash of garlic powder, some more veggie broth if needed, and salt and pepper.

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May you find many other common meals with your significant other so you don’t have to order Indian food every fucking night.

-Serafina

Quinoa Lentil Chili (and feminism)

I was talking to my brother recently about how his wife always loads the dishwasher wrong (let’s be honest, it’s a pretty specific skill that not many have mastered). He was wondering if he could blame the whole episode on feminism. As a supportive sister, I told him he could blame whatever he wanted and he proceeded to write Gloria Steinem a strongly worded letter.

I felt guilty about our conversation, though, because while obviously the problem is feminism, I feel like Gloria probably loads her dishwasher effectively. She just strikes me as a strong, independent woman who doesn’t want to eat off a plate covered with hardened cheese particles.

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I wonder if Gloria Steinem gardens… if so, I bet she also makes chili out of her end of the season vegetable hodgepodge

By the way, this is one of those dishes you’re going to want to soak for a sec before you try to scrub the cheese off. Just in case there is anyone out there who needed a little remedial dishwashing LPT.

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Lentils and quinoa fly all over the stove any time you use them. It’s ok, because you can just ask your housekeeper to come back to clean up again once the food is done.

Ingredients:

Oil

¾ cup lentils, rinsed

¾ cup quinoa, rinsed

1 cup diced butternut squash

2 cans diced tomatoes (or use many fresh tomatoes)

2 cups veggie broth

About 1 tsp Garlic powder

Small amount onion powder

About 2 tbsp Chili powder

About 1 tbsp Cumin

A little bit of oregano

Salt and pepper

½ Lemon

Optional: Tortilla chips, cheese,  avocado

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Did I clean up some of the spilled quinoa in between pictures? Probably. Because I’m a feminist who also appreciates a clean stovetop. So I made my boyfriend wipe it off in between shots.

Instructions

Heat oil and add spices. Allow to simmer for a minute. Add butternut squash, lentils, quinoa, tomatoes, and veggie broth. Add lemon, quartered with seeds removed. Keep the skin on, you’ll remove all the lemon chunks before serving. Simmer for a while, until butternut squash and lentils are soft. I think mine simmered for about 45 minutes, but it could have been done sooner.

If it is too thick by the time everything is done, I will sometimes throw in a full can of tomato sauce. I also do that if I accidentally made it too spicy.

Serve with tortilla chips, avocado, and/or cheese.

Think about how we’re now getting 79 cents on the dollar now, ladies, it’s really starting to come together for us!

-Serafina