They See Me Rolling Rice Balls, They Hatin’

There are two things that I love doing more than anything else.  One is stalking random people that I don’t know on social media for hours on end, reading comments on all their posts, and printing out pictures of their pets.  The other is trying to recreate food I see in cartoons if the cartoon characters get really excited about the food.

 

I was going to post a lentil recipe this week, but if you haven’t noticed, Serafina literally has taken all the lentils.  There are no more lentils left.  And now she thinks jackalopes are fruit, instead of the very real death guardian rabbits.  I think her mind is going.  Sad!

 

So, instead, I’m making rice balls.  They made them in an anime I was watching called Maid Sama and even though the main character apparently made them incorrectly, and with tissue paper as an additive, I decided I was capable of trying it, albeit with the Kleenex granules.

 

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This is a pretty accurate representation of how I looked while making these.

 

I’ve done approximately no research into what these are, and I’ve never had them before, but I trust cartoons more than the Food Network so I’m an expert now.  Also, I’ve been eating these non-stop for days.  I love them and they are my baes now.

 

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This is all I had to go on besides the visual aspect.  Salty and not crunchy.  Got it. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ingredients:

  • Sushi rice
  • Roasted seaweed (I personally prefer Korean seasoned roasted seaweed)
  • Salt
  • Canned tuna
  • Mayo

 

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This seaweed is amazeballs and cheaper than the stuff at Whole Foods, which is good because I’ve been just crunching on giant sheets of it.

 

Directions:

Cook up the rice, and cut the seaweed into strips.  Drain the tuna, and mix in a glop (distinct measurement) of mayo.

 

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Visual of a glop and sea chicken.

I wish I could give more more direction after all this, but… you know, I just made it up along the way.  First I set out my rice ball amounts and then I salted each side.

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They were all different sizes and I also almost knocked them into the sink.

While the rice was still hot, I molded it into balls and burned myself.  Still working the hot rice, I also tried to make a triangle shape.  Then I forgot these should be stuffed so I dug into the rice balls and shoved some tuna and mayo mixture in it.  Pretend this is on purpose, and mold the ball back and put a strip of seaweed around the bottom.

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Maybe cut the strip a little straighter than I did.  No one cares though because I ate this one immediately after snapping this.

And there you go.  Rice balls.  I’m going to make some more right now.  I bet you’re sad I didn’t make chicken this week.

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Don’t worry I still had chicken.

 

A rolling rice ball doesn’t gather moss,

 

Mary Ellen

 

 

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More Egg Rice 

I’m sorry that I’ve been MIA for a long while. I was sick, died, ressurected, and then I’ve been busy coming up with the perfect playlist for working out. I love making playlists for everything because they are the modern form of mix tapes, which I used to actually make for people all the time, because I was adorable/a creepy nerd. Have a crush? Let them know with a heartfelt compilation of emotional Hanson songs. I continued this tradition even with the advent of CDs, and even went so far as to make a “I’m sorry we broke up, I want to be friends, but I also still want to have sex with you/I will stalk you every day until you love me” mix. When CDs died, I ran to iTunes, and now I’m resting comfortably with Spotify. 
Since I’ve been so busy making playlists, I hardly have time to cook, clean, or have foresight in general. Actually, I don’t think I even made dinner for my husband last night. I think I had a bowl of cereal, I wonder what he had? 

I eat sweet potatoes sometimes as meals. This was painstakingly made by wrapping in foil and throwing it into the oven, where I forgot about it because I didn’t set a timer. Luckily, it turned out well for me.

I go back and forth on the egg thing. I love eggs most of the time, but then I need like, several months of a break. I make a lot of egg scrambles with whatever ingredients I have on hand. This recipe, however, was inspired by a dish at a local ramen spot near my house. A true gem of a place. We went with friends, and it took a couple of hours to get all our food, which was fine since they brought out my sake and I didn’t care about the rest. After like 90 minutes of still missing half our order, I walked up to one of the dudes walking around, and politely informed him that we were still missing our dishes, and like, wondered if they were going to get them for us. He didn’t speak English, and ran away. He was scared of me the rest of the night. 
Anyway, one of our friends and Annie both ordered vegetable fried rice, and they brought out rice with egg in it, and no vegetables. I was jealous. 
This recipe is not fried rice. I’m too lazy for that.  
Egg Scramble with Rice (adapted from a local ramen joint with communication issues)

Ingredients: 

  • 2 eggs
  • 1 cup frozen vegetables of your choice 
  • Cheese (optional) 
  • 1/2 TBSP butter or oil
  • 1/2 cup cooked rice of your choice
  • Soy sauce 

Directions:

Heat butter or oil in a pan at medium heat and add vegetables. Cook until heated through and add cheese (if you want) until it melts. 

Today I used peppers and corn that was genetically modified to taste like carrots. It counts as an extra vegetable.

Scramble the eggs in a bowl and pour into pan. 

Serafina would just eat it at this stage because she doesn’t even have time to cook her eggs.

Prepare a bowl of rice and drizzle soy sauce in it and mix it in. Top it with the scramble and eat it while silently wishing you were eating cookies for lunch instead. 

Not cookies, but I guess it works.

That’s all for this week. If you would like your own personalized mixtape from Mary Ellen, send an inquiry through the Contact Page and a representative will be with you within 1-12 days. 
Scrambles are just free spirited omelettes. 
Mary Ellen