Have a Great ValenTIME with These Valentime’s Day Waffles

Ah, Valentime’s Day. It’s the time in which we celebrate the birth of one of the greatest lovers of all time, Saint Valen. Side note: his name is where we get the word “valor” so this just goes to show how important this day really is. (Source: Your Mom)

Anyway, Eggplanters, you know I live a very private life. I only share the intimate details of my life with my cam subscribers, so revealing this all to you is very hard for me.

Annie is gone.

I lost Annie some time ago (not really sure when because I just realized he was gone like a month ago) in the basement. I didn’t really want to go looking for him, because I was worried I’d encounter spiders. Dead or alive, spiders scare me.

So I remarried, and his name is Greg O. Gregerson.

He’s important so he’s on his phone a lot.

I know what you’re thinking and YES I totally think he’s the spitting image of sexiest man alive, Paul Giamatti.

Anyway, for our first VDay together, I made the most romantic food you can make anyone: waffles. I know you all probably need a good waffle in your life after Serafina misappropriated meat culture last week.

This recipe used a base outline from Joy the Baker’s Blueberry Sour Cream Waffles in her brunch book (Eggs Over Easy) which you can buy here. But I made them healthier, and then I made them way less healthy than the original recipe.

Ingredients:
– 1 1/2 cups white whole wheat flour
– 2 tsp baking powder
– 1/2 tsp baking soda
– 1/2 tsp salt
– 3 Tbsp granulated sugar
– 1/3 cup butter, melted, then cooled to room temp
– 2 large eggs
– 2 tsp vanilla extract
– 1 cup plain Greek yogurt
– 1/4 milk (I used almond but you can use anything
– 1 cup white chocolate morsels
– 1 cup strawberry chia seed jam (I used the recipe from Oh She Glows, but used vanilla extract powder) – make sure it’s cold or at room temp or you’ll cook the eggs
– Chocolate ganache, whipped cream, jam, whatever, for serving.

Make your own fucking jam, it’s the bomb, takes 15 mins, and it tastes way better than anything in your fridge, I promise.

Directions:

  1. Whisk all the dry ingredients together in a large bowl.
  2. Whisk the wet ingredients together in a separate bowl.
  3. Combine the forces of wet and dry, but don’t over mix or you’ll create a wormhole.
  4. Fold in the white chocolate chips, and then swirl in the cooled jam.
I made vegan ganache with dairy free chocolate chips and coconut cream and it was amazing.

5. Turn on your waffle maker and let the batter rest while you’re waiting for it to heat. Also, follow your waffle maker’s instructions on whether to spray or not to spray.

The batter should be thick and smell like a strawberry shortcake doll.

6. Drop in 1/4 cup amounts into the maker and wait for the magic to happen.

I used a plate with a flower because I thought it would be more festive.

So there you have it. Eat all the carbs this VDay. Also, check out our mukbang videos over on our Instagram page.

Only fools rush into eating waffles without whipped cream.

-Mary Ellen


Advertisements

Belgian Waffles for Lunch

Do not pour syrup out of the original container. That’s disgusting.

Hello, and welcome to the first blog post. As I hope you’ll glean from this, and all future posts, this is a tongue and cheek, not so family friendly, family, food, and lifestyle blog. 
We are two ladies, who are sometimes friends, usually frienemies, most of the time arch enemies, and the occasional star-crossed lovers. I am Mary Ellen, you will meet Serafina next week. If you want more intimate, salacious details about us, go to the “Meet the Authors” page. So, let’s get to blogging, shall we?

Make sure the dough is lumpy. Lovely waffle lumps are the best.

I love waffles. I never knew how much I loved waffles until I got a waffle iron this Christmas, and knew I needed to make every waffle recipe I could find. I’m opportunistic like that. But today, I decided to keep it simple with a traditional Belgian waffle. Since I’m not one to try and reinvent the wheel, I got the recipe from Taste of Home. But even that recipe is basically the same as all the other ones I’ve found online. Just keep it simple. 

I’ve been making this particular recipe for the past several weeks on the weekends in lieu of pancakes, and it’s really perfect. Chewy, and crispy, and fluffy. I plan on making it for some friends that are coming over for brunch in a few weeks because even their children should like this recipe. 

Mother fucker. I can never pour the right amount of batter.

This recipe makes about 5-6 large waffles, so it’s really only a recipe for one person, maybe two if you make a lot of other food and both people aren’t that hungry. Use maths on the recipe to account for more than one person. I usually serve bacon with this recipe, and I strongly suggest not deviating from that. Serafina would like you to think otherwise, but she’s a liar. You need breakfast meats on the weekend, because otherwise you get anemic. Serafina is super anemic. 

You deserved so much more, bacon. Like, a better photographer.

Simple Belgian Waffles (adapted from Taste of Home)

Ingredients: 

  • 2 cups flour
  • 3/4 cups sugar 
  • 3 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 2 eggs, separated 
  • 1 1/2 cups milk (I used almond milk, like a hippie, and it tastes fine. My other preferred is whole milk)
  • 1 cup (2 sticks) melted butter
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 
  • Toppings of your choice

Directions:

Whisk the dry ingredients together in large bowl. Separate eggs, beat the whites to stiff peaks (I use my stand mixer) and thoroughly mix the remaining wet ingredients (please make sure you don’t cook the egg yolks with hot butter…). Combine the wet into the dry, don’t overstir. Fold in egg whites. Batter should be lumpy. Cook up on a preheated, greased waffle iron. 
I meant to take sexy pictures of eating, and pouring syrup, etc, but I just shoved the waffles into my face immediately because it was an hour past my lunch time and I was starving. Also, my 6 month old baby was timing me. He makes me eat everything in around 5 minutes or he will throw a fit. But don’t think for one second I didn’t dust that shit with powdered sugar, because I did. I also burned my perfectly fried bacon because I started taking pictures of other things with the camera. I still ate it, so I’m good on the anemia part.