Few things invoke a strong, authentic emotional response from me, but one of those things is cheesecake. To my absolute shock, Serafina wrote a hit piece on cheesecake to choke out the year 2018’s final breaths.
Because of her, what I’m hoping was drunken, nonsense, we got about 40,000 angry emails from readers, most of which listed recipes about how to cook Serafina into a cheesecake. I read them all until I got very, very hungry. Listen, at least 70% of those recipes sounded tasty, and our readers are clearly more skilled at making food than us, but the responses were a bit over the top (not unlike reducing Serafina with some seasonal berries to make a glaze).
Dear Eggplanters, I understand your pain, because I, too, felt it. You see, our tandem baking journey started out with cheesecake.
I’ll wait while you gather yourselves.
It’s true. We made a cheesecake together. A New York style cheesecake. It was the hardest thing I had ever done in my life at that point, which just really shows how great I was at avoiding any sort of conflict. I vividly remember calling her up on my hot pink Razr flip phone and asking her what creme fraiche was. She didn’t know either, and since I guess this was before the internet, she had to consult a baking book index.
But our story was just beginning.
As I was preparing myself to make this cheesecake, I was again confused by the instructions. What was a stiff peak? I thought innocently to myself. I called Serafina.
“Isn’t that what you call the ending to your stripping act?”
Of course it was! But how did that relate to cheesecake? Do I strip for the cheesecake? Is the cheesecake into girls?
Anyway, Serafina ended up just coming over and we sexily made the cheesecake. You can fill in the details with what you deem sexy, I don’t judge and we’re pretty easy. But now when I think of it, she did not eat any of the cheesecake. My whole world has been shattered with lies!
Ha ha just kidding. That’s actually the foundation of my world!
So yeah I made the cheesecake again.
New York Style Cheesecake (adapted from Nigella Lawson’s How to be a Domestic Goddess)
Ingredients:
(for the crust)
1. 1 cup plus 2 tablespoons graham crackers, crushed to crumbs
2. 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
3. 3/4 cup plus 3 tablespoons sugar
4. 9 inch springform pan
(for the cake)
1. 2 tablespoons of cornstarch
2. 1 1/2 lbs cream cheese
3. 6 large eggs, separated
4. 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
5. 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons heavy cream
6. 1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons sour cream
7. 1/2 teaspoon salt
8. Zest of 1 lemon
9. Confectioners sugar for dusting
Directions:
As you can see from the ingredients list, there is no creme fraiche, so I’m not sure what I was doing in the original story, besides rambling. I also forgot to take pictures of the process, so there will just be a slew of sexy cheesecake pictures.
1. Combine the graham crackers, melted butter, and 3 tablespoons of sugar and press into the base of the pan. Put in the fridge to set while you make up the rest of the cake.
2. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees.
3. In a large bowl, whisk the sugar and cornstarch together.
4. Add the cream cheese, egg yolks, and vanilla, and beat well. I recommend a stand mixer because it’s gonna get messy.
5. Slowly beat in the creams – see, it would be nice to have a stand mixer here. Wrangling a housemate also works.
6. Add salt and lemon zest.
7. You think you’re done, but remember those egg whites? Yeah, you need to whip those to stiff peaks. I did mine by hand because I wanted to know if I could. I look like this now:
8. Fold the egg whites carefully into the cheese mixture.
9. Scoop it all onto the chilled base and put it in the oven for 1-1 1/2 hours. I’d recommend putting it on a baking sheet because 100% chance the butter will leak everywhere. Don’t open the oven to look at it. Leave it be, it wants privacy.
10. Turn off the oven and let it sit in there with its thoughts for another 2 hours. Don’t open the oven! It doesn’t want you to catch it doing… whatever it’s doing.
11. Take it out, and let it sit for another hour before chilling it.
12. Dust it with sugar, and smash it into your face. Unless you’re Serafina.
We stripped for the cheesecake just to be safe, and it was, in fact, into girls.
-Mary Ellen
Eggplant and Pie 
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